“Daddy”
A short reflective story by Mia Elias
Like most College Students, I found myself in a rut of trying to find myself; secretly, I have not succeeded in that department yet. At 20 years old, I have kept a strong head on my shoulder while dealing with an alcoholic mother, a father’s escapist, and a republican brother. I have managed to run away from labels like Dyslexia, ADHD, Bipolar Disorder. I have run into unwanted pregnancy, Unsafe sex, Emotional abusive men, and financial problems. While all these things have landed at my feet, I still managed to lift myself and try again. “Try again” by Aaliyah was my senior year’s anthem and famously still is my anthem today. Over these years of dealing with men, family, and friends, I have a pretty good idea of what many people want. While growing up in an affluent area, I have learned what people desire most in life (and no, it is not money). What people want most is love, attention, and appreciation. Many will go so far as to get love because they did not get it most of the time. Men are the culprits of these issues. So many men find themselves daydreaming about a new woman, new love, and of course, admiration.
I hate working. No, I do. I love schoolwork, but the thought of having a 9-5 working at some fast food place sounds mind-boggling and dreadful. I looked at myself and understood one of my gifts. I took a hard look at myself as a sensual, sexy, and dangerous young woman and realized my power is to take advantage of older men with good credit and a bad marriage. I know you probably have never heard anyone admit that one of their strengths is manipulating older men, but it is effortless. I was told how good I was by my pimp who goes by the name “Jon Slang,” who barely knows I have manipulated him into giving me as much as I need with a little price. But before I get into my pimp, I should tell whoever is reading this why I even started getting sugar daddies in the first place and how in the hell did I do it and pull it off.
So if you did not know, now you see many girls my age have sugar daddies. One of my friends has many, and I asked her how she got them. Of course, the first website she gave me was “Ashley Madison.” Ashley Madison is a pool of lonely old men who need sex, attention, love, and someone to speak to. The thought of going on this site at that time disgusted me. I knew half the men would be jerking off to photos of me. I knew that I was now a sex worker and kind of sex trafficking. But I also knew that I could make a lot of money with little time, so I was willing to degrade myself. So we ended up making me an account, and within two days, I made 500 just from taking pictures, talking, and texting these men. To be honest, the whole thing was somewhat stressful; I found myself bombarded with messages and a lot of dubs (men who wanted to have sex).
I met someone on there who was essentially a pimp/sex trafficker. His name was “Jon Slang.” He was interested in speaking on the phone. He was an attractive young male who thought I would be significant to “sex traffic.” While speaking to me, he noticed I was way too smart to sex traffic, and I already knew what I was doing with my Sugar Daddys and men in general. When I mean I knew what I was doing; I knew precisely how to manipulate men and get them to fall in love with me to get everything out of them. He went about things in a dirty, illegal, and uncontrollable way, but that was never my thing. I went about things in a lawful, business, and professional manner because you are essentially selling yourself when you are a sugar baby. If you know yourself and confident enough, you can market yourself. If you barely know yourself, you can not sell yourself. You have to find the best thing about you and make that your selling point. Mine was always “I am not like other girls. I grew up in a rich area. I know how to look good with you.” I grew up with men like Ashley Madison, Seeking arrangement, and Millionaire match up. I knew how all these men worked because I saw them my whole life.
All men ever want is their Ego to be fed. Most of the time, a pretty young girl usually feeds a man’s ego and will do anything to get a pretty young girl. Most of the time, money is involved when trying to get their ego fed. But some of the men I spoke to could tell they were indeed just lonely, hated their wives, needed love, and were insecure. These were the saddest, the ones who would give away themselves just to be loved because they do not feel it. Even though this whole essay I spoke about how cold I am and manipulative, I truly felt bad for some of the men and developed a friendship with them. But the ones with the enormous egos who only would speak about themselves were the worst. They were the ones who wanted to take advantage of you. They saw me as an investment when they had no idea that I saw them as an investment for me.
Some of the men-only wanted nudes, some of them love, and some of them sex. But all these men had a common interest, and that was to be loved because they did not even know who they were. Yes, a lot of them are businessmen, but that’s it. They did not have anything else besides the title “Bussiness men.” They weren’t interesting beyond that. If they had any interests besides their business, it was nothing intellectual or exciting things like golf, wine, shopping, and looking at naked women in their 20s while they touch their semi-soft penises. I found myself feeling inadequate and hating men like this and never wanting to end up with some savvy businessmen who live in Hoboken, Manhattan, Long Island, or Brooklyn. I developed a hate for them, and the only thing peaking them taught me was their weakness, and most of the time, their fault would be death.
But another thing I noticed about a lot of these is that they were so infatuated with my beauty. My young thoughts made them happy, and they thought to themselves, “maybe there is hope.” But in a different place and a different world, they wondered if they would have fallen for me. The thoughts of them falling for me crept into my head at late hours in the end. I wondered why no one my age was infatuated with me the way they are. While they slept with their wives in bed, I slept alone, eager for their life one day. But one thing this whole process of being a sugar baby taught me, it taught me that life is all about perspective. That marriage is not always a happy ending, nor is being alone like me or the pimp, fighting for the freedom these rich older men have.
